Reading depravation and social media blackout are confirming what I've secretly known and feared for a while... I waste a hell of a lot of my time procrastinating. It's an addiction. I get antsy when I don't know what's going on. And what's worse, half of it's not really of interest — I just like knowing. Is it curable? Well, I managed to go analogue once before in Australia, so I'm certainly capable of it. I'm going to set myself a set of strict restrictions to gradually reduce the amount of time I spend online, with windows of no more than 10 minutes twice or thrice a day, and possibly cut it even further. I will commit to this change.
It's interesting thinking back to Julia Cameron's comments on the reading depravation task. She talks about the fact there's always that person in a group who thinks they are super important and can't get by without completing duties and obligations that include reading. I started this task by listing all the super important things I had to achieve this week that meant I couldn't commit fully, and as a result kept my 20% window of opportunity open to allow myself to dip in without feeling guilty. Thinking back to her comment, I now do feel guilty. Have I simply been resistant to the task, resistant to this change? I like to think I've been practical, realistic — after all, I can't exactly afford to risk my job or have my artistic project crash around my ears as a result of not meeting tight deadlines that were already in place. But am I, in reality, being that person she predicts? The reality is, having spent most of the past 2 days in the silence of my own company, I've become alert, awake and artistically aware. I've felt like the 21-year-old Kris again, the one who headed off to explore the world with a backpack, a notebook, a camera and a keen sense of adventure.
That's what's been missing the past few years. I need to stop resisting and let him out to play. Adventure Kris is back!