tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52152712257706022902024-03-13T14:06:02.330+00:00My Journey — The Artist's WayKrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.comBlogger100125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-58328815159911196582012-12-31T23:48:00.002+00:002013-01-01T01:12:56.718+00:00The Prosperous HeartGreetings reader, and a Happy Hogmanay.<br />
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It has been quite a while since my last blog post here. A helluva lot has happened in the months since then, with theatre and writing projects through to poetry and installations, bringing me right up to this weekend when I completed my final check in on <i><a href="http://amzn.to/S2gAPd" target="_blank">The Prosperous Heart</a></i> (which is my main reason for posting, and I will talk about in a bit of detail later on—please bear with me if I go for a ramble before I get there, or skip straight to that heading if the rest doesn't interest you!). What with the twelve week programme coming to an end and it being the end of the year, I figured the time was right to round up on what was a year of progress, excitement, campaigning, drama, change… and most importantly, creativity.<br />
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My last post was back in May when I was in the throes of <i><a href="http://amzn.to/YHKEwB" target="_blank">Walking in this World</a></i>; having followed <i><a href="http://amzn.to/q06jdr" target="_blank">The Artist's Way</a></i> the year before, my creative cluster buddy Debbie had encouraged me on to Julia Cameron's next twelve step course for artists, and we were joined in our cluster by Mandi over in Melbourne. We were making great progress in May, having just completed up to Week 8 and 9; I was mid-run at the Citizens Theatre working as an actor/musician in the ensemble of <i><a href="http://citz.co.uk/whatson/info/king_lear/" target="_blank">King Lear</a></i>; I was coming to the end of my mentoring period at the <a href="http://www.playwrightsstudio.co.uk/" target="_blank">Playwrights’ Studio Scotland</a>; I had been campaigning and petitioning tirelessly for weeks against changes to <a href="http://words.krishaddow.com/public-entertainment-licences/" target="_blank">Public Entertainment Licences</a> here in Scotland; I was balancing my creative work with a day job where I'd moved to reduced working hours to fit everything in. It was all very productive, and to quote that last post from May, I was “happy. Exhausted, yes; but happy!”<br />
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I reckon that comment was tempting fate—admitting to being happy, feeling like I had it all made. Two days after writing it, I had a routine health check through my health care provider at work. Three days later, I was meeting a consultant to discuss results and have scans, and a week after that found myself on the operating table having the first of two surgical procedures to remove tumours. It was a terrifying experience, but if I'm honest it happened so quickly I barely had time to process it until later in the summer when I was home alone recovering. This may sound ridiculous, but I was more fraught about having to cancel my plans to appear at the Edinburgh Fringe and missing out on writing opportunities than I was upset about being ill. I'll be under observation for a while with the possibility of more surgery in the future, but for now at least I'm getting on with things and following more or less the same old routine I always have, save for a few dietary and lifestyle changes (and those are certainly for the best).<br />
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It's liberating to have it out in the open and talk about it. My gut instinct at the time was to keep it to myself and suffer in silence. And the longer you keep something bottled up, the harder it is to share. My parents knew, as did a handful of close friends and my ever-supportive creative cluster, but I didn't feel comfortable sharing it beyond that immediate circle. I have no doubt that friends and acquaintances would have been supportive, but it felt too personal and intimate to be broadcasting health updates when we didn't know which way things would go; the very thought of it was exhausting. Instead, I decided to drop off the radar for a while. I cancelled work and most of my commitments, took a break from social media and friends, and spent a few months convalescing and recovering from the last operation. I'm generally well now, but still feel a little awkward when people comment on how much weight I've lost or ask if I'm eating properly; I had mindfully slimmed down and gotten fit in 2011, and I think some people assume that I've taken the old diet a bit too far now. I usually nod politely, tell them not to worry about me and assure them that I eat sensibly. That is the truth, after all.<br />
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This is far from being a self-piteous post, however. Given it consumed a large chunk of my year it feels right to acknowledge it here, and I feel comfortable doing so now that there's a bit of distance behind me.<br />
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That aside, I am now approaching the best shape I ever have been (if we ignore the excesses of Christmas and New Year, that is). 2012 proved to be a great year for me in so many ways—a real turning point for me as an artist. I believe I was handed a rare opportunity: confronted with the prospect of having my goals snatched away from me, I had no choice but to pursue them with a ferocity and veracity I had always aspired to but never found myself capable of. I've been much more productive in the latter half of the year, procrastinated less, and become much more focused on what is important to me. In the past few months alone, some of my comedy sketches have been picked up for publication, I won an award for my poem <i><a href="http://words.krishaddow.com/on-times-austere" target="_blank">On Times Austere</a></i>, wrote a first draft novel as part of <a href="http://www.nanowrimo.org/" target="_blank">NaNoWriMo</a> in November, and was recently announced as one of the <a href="http://www.traverse.co.uk/writing/the-traverse-fifty/" target="_blank">Traverse Fifty</a>, a group of new playwrights who will be on attachment in 2013 to the Traverse Theatre in Edinburgh as part of their 50th anniversary celebrations. I started singing again, appearing twice at the Royal Concert Hall to audiences of over 2000 people, and twice toured rural venues playing to audiences as small as 30. I now have two exhibitions of work lined up for 2013, a poetry installation in Portugal, more concerts and supper engagements booked, a new sketch show in development, will be tutoring creative writing, have plans to tour a new one man show, and am also developing a new play which I hope will be commissioned in 2013/14. And if it isn't, it will feel good to be writing and finishing work ready to pull out should opportunity knock.<br />
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I had a much needed kick up the ass this summer, and feel like I'm finally making progress as a result.<br />
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<b><i>The Prosperous Heart</i></b><br />
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Now that I've offloaded the highs and lows of 2012, I can relay my experience of following <i>The Prosperous Heart</i>. While I hadn't quite completed <i>Walking in this World</i> when I took ill (something I plan to remedy in the new year), my interest was piqued when Debbie contacted Mandi and I to find out if we fancied reforming our cluster to tackle Julia Cameron's latest artistic journey. This one, Debbie told us, was aimed at finding abundance, sorting out finances and working out where our creative resistance (if any) was coming from. It was synchronicity, as these were exactly the things I'd found preying on my mind during my convalescence, so when we kicked off in September I felt ready for the challenges ahead.<br />
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Initially, I found some resistance to my morning pages. If you have followed <i>The Artist's Way</i>, you will be familiar with these—three long hand pages of stream of conscious writing written first thing in the morning—and just as they did with <i>Walking in this World</i>, they reappear here and are a key tool in <i>Prosperous Heart</i>. Part of my resistance was to the change in routine; I was struggling with my sleeping pattern and it it took me a while to settle. In the past the morning pages had been a sort of literary abandon for me; this time I found that writing in an unbound fashion was tapping in to part of my psyche that was simply churning up things I hadn't been dealing with. I kept working at it until eventually I cracked it, and am now writing well over a thousand words every day in under half an hour, and haven't missed a session in over two months. I expect that they will now form part of my daily routine for life, as they help me to raid my subconscious for both issues and ideas; some of the best creative work I've produced recently has come from tiny gems gleaned through this process.<br />
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Last month, I used the exercise with the group of pupils I've been tutoring in creative writing for their Advanced Higher English, and it was fascinating reading what came out of their heads when writing rapid response with only the simplest of prompts. One pupil wrote a piece of fiction so loaded with subtext that he hadn't realised it appeared to reflect something very different when relayed back, making me question what had been playing on his mind when writing. It helped me to see my own pages in a whole new light. I hadn't fully appreciated till then that amidst the nonsense and chaos and scribbles were nuggets of potential for development as well as wee solutions to my daily gripes. I have since gone back and circled things in my past entries and started using them as action points.<br />
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<i>Prosperous Heart</i> continues the practice of walking, which I have managed to keep up every day. I practise mindfulness, and try to differentiate between what I call commute walking and leisure walking—by that I mean I don't just walk backwards and forwards to bus stops, and try to incorporate a walk in the park or trip round town each day for a minimum of 20-30 minutes. I treat it as a moving meditation, an opportunity to clear my head—or sometimes do the exact opposite and do a lot of thinking. Julia also introduces the idea of a daily time out, a short period of meditation or mindful practice. This is something I found a bit more difficult to stick to and had to adapt until I was comfortable with it. For a short while I tried observing a tea ritual in a mindful manner as suggested by <a href="http://zenhabits.net/tea-rituals/" target="_blank">Leo Babauta in his Zen Habits</a> blog, and has mostly worked for me. I'm now also making an effort to simply sit at peace for five minutes each night and take time to just breathe in that wee gap between powering everything down and climbing in to bed.<br />
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The biggest ongoing challenge this time round comes in the form of Counting and Abstinence. Counting is, quite simply, writing down every single penny that comes in to your life and every single penny that goes out, from your salary or sale of work to finding the odd penny on the street, and from your groceries and bills to those sneaky lattes and dining out. Once you can fully account for your spending habits, you can start to work out if your finances truly support your core values and beliefs. “I can't do <i>X</i> because I can't afford to” or “I'll do <i>Y</i> one day when I have enough money” have been the mantras of many a wannabe maker and creative type in history, whether their craft be acting, writing, dance or whatever. The idea behind counting is to open ourselves up to the possibility that we can shuffle our finances and better use them to serve our needs, making those artistic goals more of a priority than that takeaway pizza, or sidestepping an expensive brand when a more cost effective solution might be available. Abstinence takes this further, concreting the idea that we should not debt; no spending on credit cards or taking out loans, working towards financial freedom and independence, living within our means and learning to be happy with what we have. Please be assured I'm probably stating the concept far too simply here, and I urge you not to be cynical about it; it is an idea that develops over weeks of practice without lecturing or judgement, and when it starts to bed in, you will find gratitude and abundance in all walks of your life while loosening your dependence on money as a means to an end; I know I did!<br />
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Over the course of the twelve weeks I successfully paid off the last of my credit cards in full, and have maintained a zero balance at the end of every month since. This is a major achievement for me. I carried a lot of debt on my card a few years ago after breaking up with my ex and struggling to make ends meet for a while, so to finally see the last of it cleared has been extremely liberating. It has taken away the stress I felt having to work flat out to repay borrowing, and has opened me up to the possibility of working creatively without being under immediate financial pressure. Having that burden lifted has contributed to the huge increase in my productivity levels.<br />
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It doesn't, however, mean that I don't need money or will work for nothing. <i>Prosperous Heart</i> has helped me to assess and value my talents, and I better recognise how to use my time and skills. I learned to say ‘No’ this year, and have turned down several opportunities that I didn't believe would serve me well. Previously, I would in all likelihood have said ‘Yes’ to many things out of a sense of duty or loyalty to the past. My biggest fear was always that I'd somehow let people down, that it might result in fall outs or upsets; in fact, I've found the exact opposite happens, with most folk happy to hear that I'm saying no because I'm concentrating on my own work. They hope I will find success.<br />
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In terms of structure, I found <i>Prosperous Heart</i> quite different to the previous books. Both <i>The Artist's Way</i> and <i>Walking in this World</i> introduce tasks to be completed between readings as you work your way through each week's chapter, with a weekly check in at the end to track and share your progress with your creative cluster (assuming you have succeeded in forming one). <i>Prosperous Heart</i> however offers a chapter of continuous reading followed by a collection of activities at the end of each week, which I tended to complete and then share with my cluster buddies in one sitting. I found the activities took slightly longer than the tasks of the previous books, and sometimes involved deeper thinking and a lot of soul searching.<br />
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I should note at this point, having a creative cluster is a great motivator, and I couldn't have asked for better creative partners than Debbie and Mandi. I highly recommend that you try to find at least one other person to work with through any of the books you might end up following; they are your accountability buddy, will champion you through periods of change, and more than anything will provide reassurance and understanding should you start to panic. It's good to know that others experience the exact same creative blocks and life struggles as you, and that you're not facing them on your own. Don't be put off if there's no one in your immediate circle of friends or colleagues you can think of to take the journey with you—I am Glasgow-based, Debbie is in London and Mandi is in Melbourne. We email, we Skype, we talk regularly—distance really is no barrier. It's more important that you have a cluster there each week when it's time to check in rather than no cluster at all, so scour forums or social networks if necessary to find yourself a buddy.<br />
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On the whole, I feel I've reached the end of both <i>Prosperous Heart</i> and 2012 with a sense of great personal achievement. I doubt my creative endeavours will be regarded as high art, but alas, I didn't set about them with any plan other than to satisfy my own sense of curiosity and adventure. I count myself fortunate to have produced work this year that I'm pleased with, and remarkably lucky to have had the opportunity to share as much of it with others as I have. For every good piece of work, there's probably three or four bad pieces (call it practice!) that will never see the light of day, but I'm happy with that too. It feels great to be productive whether the work is good or not—it's a huge ‘Up Yours!’ to procrastination. I'm ending the year in better health, better physical and financial shape, and with a fresh optimism for 2013.<br />
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Wishing you a very Happy and Healthy New Year.<br />
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K <br />
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Krishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com1Kirkconnel, Dumfries and Galloway55.38747 -4.001596000000063229.8654355 -45.310190000000063 80.9095045 37.306997999999936tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-7679887938985718282012-05-01T11:30:00.000+00:002012-05-01T11:32:37.799+00:00Walking in this World—Weeks 3-9!?Wow. It's been 8 weeks since my last blogpost, and it feels like it has flown by.<br />
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Believe it or not, I am still quietly <i>Walking in this World</i>, as are Debbie and Mandi, my lovely creative cluster. All three of us are finding this journey quite different to <i>The Artist's Way</i>; I certainly feel it's a much more intimate and personal experience, which is why I haven't been sharing my daily readings and tasks here on the blog. I find myself chipping away at internal barriers and blocks rather than shouting about big picture progress this time round—not that I'm not making any. I am, in fact, probably busier and enjoying more artistic success and satisfaction than I've had at any other time in my life.<br />
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I am still finding time for morning pages, I am still going on my daily walks (and I mean mindful, relaxing walks, not just my daily commute-walking), I've started to go on more adventurous Artist's Dates and I don't miss them once they're planned, I'm performing daily, I'm doing a bit of work every day (sometimes no more than 10-15 minutes) on my new play, I'm writing poetry, I'm making music, I'm singing, and I'm still earning enough to live off from the reduced hours I do at my day job—I'm doing all the things I love in small doses, but enough to fulfil and satisfy me and make me happy.<br />
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And I <i>am </i>happy. Exhausted, yes; but happy!<br />
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There's a pile of things that have come up during the Week 3-9 tasks that I<i> do</i> want to share so that anyone else following the journey will feel motivated to stay on track. I'll try and fit some time into Week 10 for a proper round up.<br />
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In the meantime, here's a photo from my Week 9 Artist's Date—an afternoon spent visiting the free exhibitions as part of the <a href="http://www.glasgowinternational.org/" target="_blank">Glasgow International Festival</a>, and a trip to the giant <a href="http://www.glasgowinternational.org/index.php/events/view/Sacrilege/" target="_blank">Bouncy Stonehenge</a> on Glasgow Green!<br />
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K<br />
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<a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-xy7QfPkUNcI/T5-4XEUqGNI/AAAAAAAAAKA/LQAyxH16ITw/s640/blogger-image--1424005113.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-xy7QfPkUNcI/T5-4XEUqGNI/AAAAAAAAAKA/LQAyxH16ITw/s640/blogger-image--1424005113.jpg" /></a></div>Krishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com1Finnieston, Glasgow, Scotland55.8606922 -4.279415355.8584642 -4.2843508 55.862920200000005 -4.2744798tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-34375170247472993842012-03-07T23:30:00.000+00:002012-03-07T23:55:33.215+00:00Walking in this World—Week 2, Day 3<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Lots of things are happening on the arts campaign front. Too much to blog about here without getting completely sidelined, but out of the exhausting hours myself and many others have been putting in, results are starting to emerge. It's satisfying, it's rewarding—I feel like we're making a difference to grassroots arts and cultural events across Scotland, and it's fuelling my optimism for the future.</div>
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I had mentoring today at the Playwrights' Studio. It's sad to think the six month period is already drawing to an end and that next month is the last session. Isabel was ready and waiting for me with a pile of feedback on the draft of the play I'd submitted; as we chatted through some of the characterisation and plot points I suddenly had an epiphany and realised how to solve one of the problems I've been having. We talked it through and concluded that it might be an exciting route to take. I'm enthused about writing the next draft and just hope I can do justice to the piece in the short space of time we have left. I can of course continue developing it after the mentoring period ends; for my own satisfaction, I would love to get it to as near a state of completion as possible.</div>
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Isabel has been a great influence on my work over the past few months, encouraging me to take risks, challenge my methods and push boundaries. I've ended up developing a new style of writing for myself, quite different to anything I've written before. I relate this to the idea of <i>Believing Mirrors</i> that Julia discusses in this week's chapter of <i>Walking in this World</i>—about how it “<i>takes one to know one</i>”. I'm experiencing first hand the benefit of having an established artist look at my work and say “<i>This is what you are, or what you might be</i>.”</div>
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This line brilliantly sums things up:</div>
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“<i>As artists, we are often grateful and indebted to those who help us know the things we know.</i>”</blockquote>
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Looking around myself at the support, friendships and relationships I have in my life at present—writers, performers, artists—I feel blessed to be receiving so much encouragement, motivation and guidance. I am both grateful and indebted as the quote suggests, and only hope I can repay my gratitude sometime soon with a piece of work that my supporters will be proud of.</div>
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As I was leaving the studio, I took this snap in the common space looking down into the CCA bar. I love the strings of coloured bulbs and lit windows; it's always a fun place to hang out and feel inspired by creativity and art.</div>
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<a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-P_JBe9SeTMY/T1fk-CDToaI/AAAAAAAAAJo/-mqMuwGQelM/s640/blogger-image-85791661.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-P_JBe9SeTMY/T1fk-CDToaI/AAAAAAAAAJo/-mqMuwGQelM/s320/blogger-image-85791661.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Krishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com0Paisley, Scotland55.846072387962664 -4.411354064941406255.843843887962663 -4.4162895649414065 55.848300887962665 -4.406418564941406tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-91074633513786006582012-03-06T23:50:00.000+00:002012-03-07T00:16:45.600+00:00Walking in this World—Week 2, Day 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Tonight I had dinner with my friend Wilma, a fellow writer and Scots language champion. We chewed the cud over dinner and talked about our projects, our pasts and our passions. And in a funny wee twist of synchronicity discovered we were at the same playwriting workshop a few years ago back before we'd properly met!</div>
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We also spent time talking about how we'd ended up writing—how we both feel that we <i>have </i>to write. I thought a lot about our conversation on my way home. I have a pretty good sense of where I am at present and how I'd like my career to develop—I just need to figure out how I'm going to make some of the more difficult parts of the plan happen for me.</div>
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When I got in I sat down to complete the <i>Identify Your Identity</i> task. Interestingly, it asks many of the same questions that Wilma and I had chatted about earlier in the evening: what I dreamed of doing as a child, how I was encouraged or discouraged, the things I fear might be too late for me, and the commitments I hope to make that could still take me forward. I guess I found the task a lot easier because I'd talked it through already.</div>
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I've made no secret of the fact I'm passionate about writing in Scots. Not all of my work is defined by it, but as my mither tongue it's important to me to express myself using the words and dialect I grew up with. After a guid auld blether with Wilma, I see a potential wee project on the horizon.</div>
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<a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-YgcKx-2BRDU/T1ajcoKHNvI/AAAAAAAAAJg/89y9Y8lihAM/s640/blogger-image--1809910779.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-YgcKx-2BRDU/T1ajcoKHNvI/AAAAAAAAAJg/89y9Y8lihAM/s320/blogger-image--1809910779.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Krishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com0Paisley, Scotland55.846168761652159 -4.411396980285644555.843940261652158 -4.4163324802856447 55.84839726165216 -4.4064614802856443tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-41384439376905047882012-03-05T22:20:00.000+00:002012-03-05T22:22:57.876+00:00Walking in this World—Week 2, Day 1Week 2 opens with this paragraph:<br />
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“<i>All of us are creative. Some of us get mirroring to know we are creative, but few of us get the mirroring to know <u>how</u> creative. What most of us get is the worried advice that if we are thinking about a life in the arts, we'd better plan to have 'something to fall back on.' Would they tell us that if we expressed an interesting in banking?</i>”</blockquote>
Talk about summarising 13 years of your life in 68 words?!<br />
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I believe it's no coincidence that I find myself addressing my work/life/art balance again right now. I have been going through a period of change for some time now, and this week in particular am addressing my plans for the coming year. I have an opportunity to study, to devote myself entirely to playwriting and theatre, and I also have new projects on the horizon. It is synchronicity, and I expect I'll get a lot of benefit out of this week's tasks.<br />
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At lunchtime I headed off on one of my daily rambles. The sun decided to visit Glasgow today; it was still chilly, but the air was crisp and the walk refreshing. I did my favourite afternoon circuit around Kelvingrove Park, pausing for 15 minutes to sit on a bench and look out over the pond with the museum and art gallery in the distance. It was quite picturesque, relaxing.<br />
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This evening I spent a couple of hours at the Playwrights' Studio editing my manuscript. I think, at long last, I've finished the first draft of a new play. Yes, it has flaws, and yes, it needs work, but it feels like an achievement to finish it all when just 8 weeks ago I wanted to scratch it and move on. It's very different to anything I've written before. Now that I have an outline I'm glad I persevered and experimented with style. I've sent it off to Isabel, my mentor, who will no doubt cast a critical and caring eye over it and give me feedback later this week.<br />
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Will it ever see the stage?<br />
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Who knows. What's more important is the fact it finally saw the page.<br />
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K<br />
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<a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-ypH6DeSGPdA/T1Usn9mKsiI/AAAAAAAAAJQ/jgI4wGOPl0E/s640/blogger-image-1596368199.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-ypH6DeSGPdA/T1Usn9mKsiI/AAAAAAAAAJQ/jgI4wGOPl0E/s320/blogger-image-1596368199.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Krishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com0CCA, Glasgow, Scotland55.8655470635951 -4.2639505863189755.8649900635951 -4.26518458631897 55.8661040635951 -4.2627165863189695tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-55717686050290157932012-03-04T23:55:00.000+00:002012-03-05T00:09:45.511+00:00Walking in this World—Week 1, Day 7<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">End of Week 1—Discovering a Sense of Origin</span></i></b><br />
<br />
The looming deadline for my play resulted in me locking myself up for the weekend; I've done my best to avoid emails, tweets, messages and so on and buried myself under a mountain of printouts, notes and references. Progress has been slower than I hoped, but I feel like today in particular has been worth it. There's a structure there now, and the first draft's nearly done. A few more tweaks then it should be ready to face the scrutiny of my mentor.<br />
<br />
I took a coffee break in the afternoon and sat with the sunlight streaming in through the window behind my wee Buddha statuette. I set the alarm on my <a href="http://www.pomodorotechnique.com/" target="_blank">Pomodoro</a> to 15 minutes, closed my eyes and let warm sunlight wash over me as I cleared my head and did nothing. When the bell rang I felt fully refreshed, ready to start over again.<br />
<br />
Reflecting on Week 1, it's worth reminding myself that the objective was quick simply to set out on this new journey from where you are, with who you are, at this time and this place—in other words, be yourself, and be happy with who you are. I've had a week of theatre, writing, arts campaigning, a radio interview and good friends, food and company when I could fit in some social time.<br />
<br />
I'm more than happy to sign off with this week's mantra: ‘<i>I am enough</i>’.<br />
<br />
K<br />
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<a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-kiK0Ztvdo04/T1P5i-lMvLI/AAAAAAAAAJI/wgSG2OgGHVA/s640/blogger-image--490955898.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-kiK0Ztvdo04/T1P5i-lMvLI/AAAAAAAAAJI/wgSG2OgGHVA/s320/blogger-image--490955898.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Krishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com0Paisley, Scotland55.846096481407429 -4.4112682342529355.843867981407428 -4.41620373425293 55.84832498140743 -4.4063327342529295tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-33701503828135130362012-03-03T11:30:00.000+00:002012-03-04T12:42:39.170+00:00Walking in this World—Week 1, Day 6Last night <a href="http://debbie-walkinginthisworld.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Debbie</a>, <a href="http://mmwalkingintheworld.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Mandi</a> and I had a great first creative cluster check in for Week 1. Despite upgrading Skype to the Premium version to try out group video calling, technology failed us once again (I'll be on to you today Skype)—but still, we got to see each other briefly and exchange a few smiley waves before embarking on a standard call to chat through our weeks.<br />
<br />
It was interesting listening to the girls talk; we all had very different experiences of completing the tasks, but there were similar universal themes running through them. We had a bit of fun with the ‘express yourself’ task and listed our positive adjectives to describe ourselves, while the ‘do nothing’ task was initially one to put off but indulge in later. As we talked I realised that walking has become a big part of my life; it might not seem like such an exciting artistic endeavour, but my daily rambles seem to instil me with calm and give me space to think things through. As a result I don't feel as stressed as I once did.<br />
<br />
Week 1 <i>Discovering a Sense of Origin</i> felt like more of a gentle introduction compared to <i>The Artist's Way</i> with very minimal tasks; looking ahead as we move into Week 2 <i>Discovering a Sense of Proportion</i> there appears to be a bit more writing and challenge ahead of us.<br />
<br />
Before we chatted I had spent a rare night at home. I had planned to spend Friday evening having my Aritst's Date in the city, but with so many deadlines and commitments this coming week felt I was being a bit indulgent with my time. I didn't cancel completely; instead I preserved the hour I had blocked off, headed home and played one of my favourite albums while cooking one of my favourite meals from scratch—wok-fried chicken and mushroom korma with homemade Peshwari naan. It might not look terribly photogenic, but it was exceptionally tasty if I do say so myself! I lit candles and enjoyed having a full 60 minute window of time all to myself. After February being such a hectic month I'm enjoying getting back in the habit of preparing meals from scratch—it is a creative and calming process in its own right.<br />
<br />
Despite this being the weekend, today is a day of work for me, and I expect Sunday will be too. I need to break the back of the play I've been procrastinating on and try to solve once and for all what it is that isn't working. I know there are chunks of good material in there, but for some reason I've not managed to make it all connect so far. I've also been on a bit of a decluttering mission and have <i>eight</i> bags of clothes that no longer fit to take to the charity drop off later on. I'm loving being fitter and healthier, but I now have a real shortage of things to wear! I've also been decluttering the sitting room and reclaimed my writing desk from beneath a mountain of paperwork. Perhaps I'll find it easier to sit there and write this weekend while watching the world go by outside.<br />
<br />
K<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-FXdmAvF0jNY/T1Ncgf8flKI/AAAAAAAAAJA/oabDTorTqPw/s640/blogger-image-868994402.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-FXdmAvF0jNY/T1Ncgf8flKI/AAAAAAAAAJA/oabDTorTqPw/s320/blogger-image-868994402.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Krishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com0Paisley, Scotland55.846048294502936 -4.41131114959716855.843819794502934 -4.4162466495971682 55.848276794502937 -4.4063756495971678tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-16178845150644593672012-03-02T16:30:00.000+00:002012-03-02T16:30:00.557+00:00Walking in this World—Week 1, Day 5<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">Express Yourself</span></i></b><br />
<br />
Things you may (or may not) already know about me:<br />
<ol>
<li>I am a writer.</li>
<li>I am a performer.</li>
<li>I am a freelance life coach.</li>
</ol>
You'd think that by combining these 3 skills and talents I'd be pretty good at selling myself, right? The sad truth is, I'm not!<br />
<br />
This week I've been filling in application forms galore. I need to express myself, my vision for my work and how I hope to progress my career over the coming year. It has been highly frustrating, mainly because it has involved having to talk a lot about myself to the nth degree—and when I start that level of self-analysis, I inevitably begin to question my self worth.<br />
<br />
I forced myself to take a break from stressing and putting myself down to re-read some of the grounding statements and positive affirmations from <i>The Artist's Way</i>. As I did so, a postcard slid out the book; I had placed it there to mark the section about creating a collage of images. I always meant to go back and keep adding to my wee flip book of photographs of things I had achieved and things that make me happy. This particular postcard was sent to me by a playwright and friend who has long encouraged and motivated me, and on the reverse simply reads “Keep going—you're doing great!”—it finally has pride of place in my little collection. I added the flyer from my recent tour, a postcard for the exhibition I was part of earlier in the year, and a print out of a poem I'm having published in a few months.<br />
<br />
After this, I remembered that I had one more task to complete for the week. Titled <i>Express Yourself</i>, it asks you to list 10 positive adjectives to describe yourself—exactly the problem I've been having with my applications this week!<br />
<br />
Here's what I came up with:<br />
<ol>
<li>Passionate</li>
<li>Articulate</li>
<li>Creative</li>
<li>Insightful</li>
<li>Funny</li>
<li>Intelligent</li>
<li>Caring</li>
<li>Accepting</li>
<li>Loyal</li>
<li>Enthusiastic</li>
</ol>
I immediately wondered if others consider these to be a good reflection—what do you think? Is this how I present myself to the world, whether in person or virtual? If you come up with a word or two that you think describe me better then please share; just don't forget it's the <i>positive</i> ones we're concentrating on for this task!<br />
<br />
Armed with my new list of positive ways to express myself, I'm going to tackle these application forms again this weekend with renewed vigour.<br />
<br />
We've got our first creative cluster check in tonight. I'll be video calling Debbie in London and Mandi in Melbourne to see how we've all gotten on.<br />
<br />
K<br />
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<a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-QKkMOtDozDE/T1DlHf19bYI/AAAAAAAAAI4/4zT8E0pIRho/s640/blogger-image--475401943.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-QKkMOtDozDE/T1DlHf19bYI/AAAAAAAAAI4/4zT8E0pIRho/s320/blogger-image--475401943.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Krishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com0Finnieston, Glasgow, Scotland55.864391140165459 -4.283509254455566455.863277140165458 -4.2859767544555663 55.86550514016546 -4.2810417544555666tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-70551485332576619382012-03-01T23:55:00.000+00:002012-03-02T00:35:11.700+00:00Walking in this World—Week 1, Day 4I enjoyed four long walks today—sleep evaded me again last night, so I got up and out early to get some fresh air. There was a hint of spring around today; snowdrops and daffodils are beginning to peek through, and I snapped a photo of some outside Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum. I love this time of year. It fills me with a feeling of optimism and new life, which reflected in the applications I had to complete earlier this evening. I feel energised, ready to breathe new life into my work—I feel ready to create.<br />
<br />
I should have been off to a campaign meeting in Edinburgh tonight, but my commitments in the afternoon overran leaving no time to travel. Instead, I spent an impromptu night with my lovely friend Daniel; good food, good wine and good company was just what I needed after such a tiring and restless few days. I'm heading home to bed now and hope that after trekking over 9 miles today I'll finally get a full night's rest ahead of another productive day tomorrow.<br />
<br />
K<br />
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<a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-kYR8ucalPPE/T1ANc4M6j-I/AAAAAAAAAIw/_OGNXrwoFWE/s640/blogger-image-128591172.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-kYR8ucalPPE/T1ANc4M6j-I/AAAAAAAAAIw/_OGNXrwoFWE/s640/blogger-image-128591172.jpg" /></a></div>Krishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com0Scotstoun, Glasgow, Scotland55.875936789130876 -4.336380958557128955.873709789130878 -4.3413164585571291 55.878163789130873 -4.3314454585571287tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-10681051945540707372012-02-29T13:30:00.000+00:002012-02-29T13:27:46.220+00:00Walking in this World—Week 1, Day 3Today's morning pages were a ramble.<br />
<br />
Despite feeling exhausted I failed to sleep last night—my brain was too busy processing multitudes of thoughts. As I finished blogging my intention to head straight to bed, I received a reminder of an application I've been meaning to complete, and that set me off on a spiral of <i>what if's</i> and <i>could I's</i> to busy my already full mind. I ended up going out a walk at 2am to clear my head.<br />
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It perhaps serves as a timely reminder that there are more ways I need to look after myself than simply eating well and exercising. The brain (perhaps more importantly) needs care and attention too.<br />
<br />
The next task of the week couldn't be more opportune. It is, quite simply:<br />
<br />
<i><b>Do Nothing</b></i><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
“<i>This task asks that you do nothing—and that you do it thoroughly for fifteen minutes. Here is how to set your nothing up. First of all, cue up a piece of music that is both calming and expansive. Secondly, lie down. Stretch out on your back, fold your arms comfortably, and let your imagination speak to you. Close your eyes and follow your train of thought wherever it leads you into your past, into your future, into some part of your present that you have not been able, due to busyness, to fully enough inhabit. Listen to the music and to your thoughts gently unspooling and repeat to yourself gently this simple phrase, I am enough… I am enough… Stop striving to be more and appreciate what it is you already are.</i>”</blockquote>
Sounds like bliss. Had you asked me to do this several years ago my inner cynic might have sniggered at you then retreated. Right now, I can't wait to go home and give it a go. In fact I'm sorely tempted to sprawl out on the library floor and do nothing right here, right now!<br />
<br />
Try it.<br />
<br />
Do you meditate? If you do, what are your experiences? I used to take regular mental pauses—after yoga classes, during drama workshops, sessions at the Buddhist centre—but I've gradually lost the way of it and made less and less time as my life has become full and busy again.<br />
<br />
I'll leave you with a snap from my morning walk into town—my very own ‘View from the Bridge’, if you will. Today I captured the historic titan crane; the pyramid entrance to the SECC; the Armadillo; the ever-rising structure of the new Hydro arena; Glasgow University's spire in the distance; a juxtaposition of eras and industries reflected in the still of a calm, silent Clyde.<br />
<br />
K<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-qLWcRER9lnk/T04ErnPP3II/AAAAAAAAAIo/riAdtRVXMyE/s640/blogger-image-1202405467.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-qLWcRER9lnk/T04ErnPP3II/AAAAAAAAAIo/riAdtRVXMyE/s640/blogger-image-1202405467.jpg" /></a></div>Krishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com0The Mitchell Library, Glasgow, Scotland55.863981742368587 -4.271514415740966855.862867742368586 -4.2739819157409666 55.865095742368588 -4.269046915740967tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-37462456104496417912012-02-28T23:50:00.000+00:002012-02-29T00:12:14.154+00:00Walking in this World—Week 1, Day 2I have a million and one things I <i>should</i> write about tonight.<br />
<br />
I should update on a project I've been working on that is finally nearing fruition; I should talk about the three different routes I walked today; I should give a full run down of last night's Stage to Page workshops at the Playwrights' Studio where I observed some fascinating new work; I should write all about my experience today of being interviewed and broadcast live for the first time on <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01cdq4k" target="_blank">BBC Radio Scotland's Culture Café</a> in response to my petitioning and campaign to scrap impending arts taxes; I should reflect on the conversation I had with an old lady about the Garden Festival as we crossed the Bells Bridge on my walk back from BBC's riverside studios; I should mention the kindness of old theatre colleagues who still look out for me 10 years after we finished working together; I should talk about witnessing a robbery that happened so quickly no one could react; or I should write a whole post dedicated to how much I loved <i><a href="http://www.nationaltheatrescotland.com/content/default.asp?page=home_AnAppointmentWithTheWickerMan" target="_blank">An Appointment With the Wickerman</a></i> tonight, and how proud I am to have so many talented friends that make such brilliant theatre.<br />
<br />
I keep saying <i>should</i>, but I'm so utterly exhausted that I am collapsed on the sofa and intend to do only one more thing today:<br />
<br />
Sleep!<br />
<br />
K<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-EJ0gTjWY49s/T01lvIgWJ1I/AAAAAAAAAIg/XGWtwCwRAww/s640/blogger-image-152788933.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-EJ0gTjWY49s/T01lvIgWJ1I/AAAAAAAAAIg/XGWtwCwRAww/s640/blogger-image-152788933.jpg" /></a></div>Krishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com0Paisley, Scotland55.845951920514764 -4.41131114959716855.843723420514763 -4.4162466495971682 55.848180420514765 -4.4063756495971678tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-37538334215746323352012-02-27T13:50:00.000+00:002012-02-27T14:43:48.765+00:00Walking in this World—Week 1, Day 1<b><i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">What the Hell, I Might as Well!</span></i></b><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Week 1, Day 1. Here we go again!<br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> got up this morning, wrote my morning pages, made pancakes (from scratch) for breakfast then caught the bus into town, got off part of the way there and took a brisk, crisp 30 minute walk through Kelvingrove Park. I walk twice or thrice a day in bursts of 20-40 minutes depending on where I am and what I'm doing, but as part of </span><i style="font-family: inherit;">Walking in this World</i><span style="font-family: inherit;"> I intend to vary my routine and do something different every day. The park is one of my favourite spots though; expect lots of mentions and photographs in the coming months.<br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We're presented with a nice, gentle task to ease us in to the first week, which Julia introduces by saying:</span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">“</span><i>Often we experience a sense of powerlessness because we do not see any direct action that we can take to concretely alter our sense of being stuck.</i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">”</span></blockquote>
Oh so true. I have a tendency to get stuck in a mind-rut, coming back again and again to a feeling of helplessness as I'm unable to pursue some of the big-picture things I'd like to be doing while I'm financially constrained. This task serves as a timely reminder that there are in fact lots of things I can still do whenever I feel like it that will spur me back into creative action. It's aptly named <i>What the hell, you might as well</i> to remind you you can just <i>do something</i> creative for the sake of it.<br />
<br />
Here's my list of 20 small things I could<i> </i>do whenever I feel stuck or unmotivated:<br />
<ol>
<li>Write a poem in my journal.</li>
<li>Bake biscuits.</li>
<li>Bake cakes.</li>
<li>Bake anything!</li>
<li>Share my baking with others.</li>
<li>Make a pot of soup.</li>
<li>Prepare my favourite meal.</li>
<li>Make a photo album or collage (I don't have any at all!).</li>
<li>Clean up my old SLR cameras from my photography studies.</li>
<li>Take more pictures.</li>
<li>Re-pot my Madagascan dragon tree.</li>
<li>Read a play.</li>
<li>Write sketches for fun.</li>
<li>Act out the sketches.</li>
<li>Send postcards to friends.</li>
<li>Go postal, write long-hand letters to friends.</li>
<li>Make a playlist of my favourite music.</li>
<li>Light candles and listen to my playlist.</li>
<li>Practice holding my authoharp (zither, pictured below) and strum the few chords I know until I get better.</li>
<li>Sing!</li>
</ol>
<div>
I deliberately didn't include a few of my favourite free things to do such as brewing coffee, walking in the park, visiting the library or walking round the galleries as I already do these things most days.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
What would your 20 small creative actions be? How about picking 5 for starters and sharing them in the comments below?<br />
<br />
K</div>
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<a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-y2FKThp69LI/T0uU8IrsKnI/AAAAAAAAAIY/ckc7AuQ4oE0/s640/blogger-image--60402313.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-y2FKThp69LI/T0uU8IrsKnI/AAAAAAAAAIY/ckc7AuQ4oE0/s640/blogger-image--60402313.jpg" /></a></div>Krishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com1Glasgow, Scotland55.860826826375146 -4.278831481933593855.859712826375144 -4.2812989819335936 55.861940826375147 -4.2763639819335939tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-45735073305133400612012-02-26T12:55:00.000+00:002012-02-26T12:55:43.043+00:00Walking in this World — New beginningsHello blog readers… long time no speak! :-)<br />
<br />
A couple of months have flown by since <a href="http://doingtheartistswayagain.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Debbie</a> and I shared our <i>Artist's Way</i> journey through these blog pages. It was an exciting time for us both; a period of creativity, productivity, projects, change, highs and a few lows and struggles too. For me personally it was the period in which I fundamentally shifted how I view myself and my artistic desires; I stopped feeling ‘ashamed’ of being an actor and writer and focussed instead on actually acting and writing. And as a result, I found work—I <i>made</i> work. Those 12 guided weeks helped me to address several of my artistic frustrations, and I found a much healthier balance—not work/life, but art/life/work balance. I've kept up my artist's dates (I've only missed 1 in 2 months), I go on my daily walks round the park or the city, and I write my morning pages (or evening pages) every day.<br />
<br />
So, a few months on…where are we?<br />
<br />
Well, we're back for more!<br />
<br />
Some time after writing <i><a href="http://amzn.to/q06jdr" target="_blank">The Artist's Way</a></i> Julia Cameron followed up with <i><a href="http://amzn.to/y938JO" target="_blank">Walking in this World</a></i>; a next-step 12 week programme designed to take us further along the path of our artistic journeys. Our creative cluster has expanded, and this time we've been joined by actor <a href="http://mmwalkingintheworld.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Mandi</a> over in Melbourne, Australia—yes, we've gone global!—and we may have another artist joining us this week too. This morning Debbie, Mandi and I grappled with modern technology (Google+ and Skype) to have our first creative cluster prior to kicking things off tomorrow. We talked a bit about where we are at present with our work and current projects, where we think it is leading and what we hope to achieve in these 12 weeks.<br />
<br />
It's exciting—the first day of a new term at school!<br />
<br />
Lots has been happening with me since I last blogged. I did write a huge spiel about it all then realised how long the post was becoming, so I've cut it out and instead replaced it with a short list of what I've been up to. I'll refer back to it and fill you in as relevant over the coming weeks.<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>My playwriting mentorship;</li>
<li>Touring my play <i><a href="http://2h9m37s.com/" target="_blank">2h:9m:37s</a></i> which finished last week;</li>
<li>Possibility going to the Edinburgh Festival;</li>
<li>Acting work;</li>
<li>Directing work;</li>
<li>A new business and a new project;</li>
<li>Campaigning for the arts;</li>
<li>Creative writing course/studying;</li>
<li>Major lifestyle/health improvements;</li>
<li>Simplifying my life ready for change.</li>
</ol>
<div>
I'll leave it at that for now. I'm off to re-read Week 1's chapter in preparation for the tasks ahead.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
K</div>
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<br />Krishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com0Glasgow, UK55.861874479566339 -4.254369735717773455.85741897956634 -4.2642402357177733 55.866329979566338 -4.2444992357177735tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-43324291765890112022011-12-24T21:35:00.000+00:002011-12-26T22:59:16.807+00:00After the Artist's Way — Week 5It's Christmas Eve and I'm home with my family for the holidays. Sitting here in my old bedroom has given me an opportunity to reflect, not only on this past year, but also on life in general. I know I've banged on about it a few times in my blog, but 2011 has proved to be a blessed year. Don't get me wrong, I've had more than my fair share of hardship and low points—I've avoided broadcasting much of that online—but on the whole it has been counterbalanced with a healthy dose of things going well for me in my creative life.<br />
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Last year I had a bit of a health scare. Not my first, for that matter; for the second time in a twelve month period I was faced with life threatening surgery, which thankfully I made a full recovery from. It marked a turning point for me in many ways and helped me get my priorities straight. This year I've lost weight, improved my sleep (not dramatically, but enough to make me feel better about managing my insomnia) and my general fitness and stamina has improved. I have more energy, more drive, and I feel happier. Yes, there's still room for me to do better, but I've made significant advances that even this time last year seemed impossible. I still have days when I struggle and feel down, but I now see the bright side to many of my problems—even those really difficult financial ones. My mental health is in as positive a state as my physical fitness.<br />
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Why mention all this? I guess I made a connection in my reflective state. Things going well for me creatively has improved my general happiness, and being happier has helped motivate me to improve my health and wellbeing, and that in turn has helped boost my creativity. I find myself in a cycle of artistic happiness, one that has without a doubt been fuelled by my commitment to <i>The Artist's Way</i> programme. The rude awakening I had last year forced me back into action; I stopped feeling sorry for myself and started <i>trying</i> to get somewhere again.<br />
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Julia Cameron talks in the <i>The Artist's Way</i> about simply turning up to the page, and making a point of doing so every day, no matter how difficult. That is working for me right now. No matter my mood, I aim to write my morning pages every single day, and when mornings don't work out, I write in the afternoons or evenings. It's not always art: hell, it's more often than not a ramble about the crap I've gone through during the course of the previous day, but the point is I <i>do</i> it. I <i>try</i>. I write every day. I turn up to the page.<br />
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I don't intend to blog over the holidays, so I'll wish all friends and readers happy holidays now. Here's to a creative and successful 2012—and to keeping trying.<br />
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KKrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com0Kirkconnel, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland55.381889908321966 -3.992843627929687555.377379908321963 -4.0027141279296874 55.38639990832197 -3.9829731279296876tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-63502807446819236222011-12-17T20:17:00.000+00:002011-12-17T20:17:59.928+00:00After the Artist's Way — Week 4This has been a great week. Busy, productive, creative, focussed and full of enthusiasm.<br />
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First I finished editing a couple of short stories I'd left resting for a bit, before making a breakthrough with the new play I'm writing following last week's mentoring session. On Wednesday I enjoyed a festive night out with other writers, actors and freelancers from the arts community, followed by a trip with my fellow playwright mentees to Edinburgh on Thursday. We had introductions with the literary representatives of both the National Theatre of Scotland and the Traverse Theatre to talk about their submissions processes, before catching Jo Clifford's latest play <a href="http://www.traverse.co.uk/whats-on/the-tree-of-knowledge/" style="font-style: italic;" target="_blank">Tree of Knowledge</a>. Afterwards we indulged in a brilliant Q&A session with Jo herself to learn more about her creative practice, and followed that up with a trip to the Scottish Parliament to be part of the audience of NTS's rousing <i><a href="http://www.stagingthenation.com/" target="_blank">Staging the Nation</a> </i>event on political theatre. Friday night found me performing in my last gig of the year with two festive concerts at the new <i>A' the Airts</i> theatre space in Sanquhar. I had time to catch up with friends and family throughout the week, found a production assistant (my lovely friend Karen, no less), and tentatively confirmed the last dates and venue for my spring tour—by this time next week, everything should finally be in place. The week was full of action and activity: things are <i>happening</i>.<br />
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Amid all that busy-ness, I've been reflecting on how 2011 has gone, and made a few of those big decisions for the future that I've been hinting at in my blog for a while. I now have a clear set of goals to work towards in 2012. It doesn't matter that some of them are terrifying and involve major change, nor am I concerned about how difficult or unattainable they might seem right now—they feel <i>right</i>, they will motivate me, and they excite me.<br />
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For this week's artist's date I went right back to the roots of <i>The Artist's Way</i> and did one of the first things Julia suggests in the book—stationery shopping! I've been on a stationery ban for most of the year; I must plead guilty to the crime of buying far too many notebooks and pens in the past, to the point of having a stockpile that would put WH Smith to shame. This week however I decided to treat myself and went off in search of a 2012 diary. I already have my Equity one for throwing in my bag, and inevitably keep track of most things electronically anyway, but I do still like to have a decent journal to write in. I found the perfect companion in Paperchase, a smashing brown leather page-per-day diary. This might not sound like your idea of an exciting day trip, but the simple pleasure of this purchase followed by coffee and a mince pie while watching the madness of Christmas shoppers bustling by outside really cheered me up.<br />
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There's still half of December to go, but I'm ending this week with a fresh optimism for 2012.<br />
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KKrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com0Kelloholm, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland55.381987429698491 -3.992414474487304755.379732429698493 -3.9973499744873049 55.384242429698489 -3.9874789744873045tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-33882784725241146442011-12-12T21:52:00.001+00:002011-12-12T21:52:18.570+00:00After the Artist's Way — Week 3Goodness me, another fortnight has flown by. Is it just me or does life suddenly hit fast forward during the winter months? Where does the time go?<br />
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As you might guess from the tardiness of this post, my intention to update weekly following the end of <i>The Artist's Way</i> slipped already with me missing Week 2. Keeping on the straight and narrow when the daily focus of completing tasks has shifted hasn't been easy. I've lacked enthusiasm at times and felt a bit creatively strangled, but a bit of refocussing and a motivational chat and check in on the phone with <a href="http://doingtheartistswayagain.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Debbie</a> got me back on track. I repeated a few of the early tasks to recentre myself, said my affirmations and reminded myself why it's important to not lose faith in what I achieved during my three months on <i>The Artist's Way</i>. My morning pages are flowing, I've been back on my artist's date and (despite the awful Scottish weather) have restarted my daily walks in the park; rain, hail, <a href="http://gu.com/p/34xt6" target="_blank"><i>hurricane</i></a> or shine!<br />
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Not that I've been unproductive, I'd like to point out. In fact I'm busier than I have been all year. My mentoring sessions at the <a href="http://www.playwrightsstudio.co.uk/" target="_blank">Playwrights' Studio</a> are now in full swing and going great. I had my second session with Isabel last week, and it couldn't have come at a better time. I had reached a point where I was seriously considering jacking in the piece I've been working on; the material I've been researching isn't exactly cheery and it had started to drag me into a fug of depression the more I read up on the topic. I should have known better and gone on my artist's date when I started to feel down. Maybe if I'd been a bit kinder and distanced myself from the mental weight I was accumulating I wouldn't have ended up as miserable as I did for several days last week. Isabel helped me find reason, reassuring me that the material shows promise and it would be a shame to throw away the work I've done. So it's onwards and upwards with it—but this time with a reminder to separate work from life and to establish better boundaries. We've got a bundle of activities planned this week, including introductory meetings with a few key figures in the industry and a theatre trip to Edinburgh, which I'll no doubt update on later.<br />
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My plan for this week is to dip back in to some of the goal related tasks. A number of new opportunities are on the horizon, and now is as good a time as any to review the direction I'm currently heading in. There may need to be sacrifices in 2012; that's both exciting and terrifying in equal measure, but not without reward if things go to plan. I will also be revisiting and redressing my Week 10 Bottom Line statements, as I've let some of the commitments I made to myself slide.<br />
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I'm going to cut this post here as I'm attempting to streamline my online media intake again, and the bell on my <a href="http://www.pomodorotechnique.com/" target="_blank"><i>pomodoro</i></a> has just rung! Yes, it's that dreaded deprivation task from way back in Week 4. I'm reviewing a new book titled <i><a href="http://amzn.to/vOFPUm" target="_blank">The Digital Diet</a></i> by Daniel Sieberg for a coaching magazine, and it has uncanny parallels to Week 4's content. It has served as a timely reminder that I've let myself slip again, especially on the social networking front. Less time online and more focus in my days is the challenge for the coming week!<br />
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KKrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com0Paisley, Scotland55.8466988126733 -4.411525726318359455.837785312673304 -4.4312667263183592 55.8556123126733 -4.39178472631836tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-42179630957316704682011-11-25T19:30:00.000+00:002011-11-25T19:36:56.527+00:00After the Artist's Way — Week 1<br />
A week has passed, so I figure it's time for my first check in to blether about what's been happing since I finished <i>The Artist's Way</i>.<br />
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It's been a funny old week. There were days when I found myself feeling like I had forgotten to do something. I'd check my to-do lists to no avail, or I'd sit in at night with spare time wondering why I felt a bit grumpy. The truth is those little gaps where I felt bored or miffed were the times I'd usually be doing tasks, reading chapters or writing my blog. That's time I <i>should</i> now be using productively or creatively, but I've kinda failed on that front so far. I haven't made the smooth transition I expected from creative recovery to artistic motivation—that'll be my first challenge for this week!<br />
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I also let my guard down and didn't do my morning pages twice this week. The first was accidental (I overslept and wanted to be on time for work) and the second was the following day when I hopped out of bed on autopilot and found myself going about the old routine I've not followed for over 3 months! As I sat eating breakfast with 15 minutes to spare before leaving the house, I realised my brain was bogged down with a million things running through it. Why did I have that feeling again that I'd forgotten to <i>do</i> something? Quite simply: I <i>had</i>! The reason my mind was racing was because I hadn't spilled my thoughts on the page when I woke up. It's a funny ritual, and I realise now it's one that serves me well. I won't go as far as saying it's completely necessary for me to function, but it certainly <i>does</i> help me organise my thoughts and guarantees that I will write <i>something</i> constructive during the course of a day. I went on to feel blocked later in the day that I didn't do my pages; inspiration wouldn't play fair when I tried to work on my play, and I eventually conceded why.<br />
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I've discovered this week that 3 of my Twitter followers are now having a bash at <i>The Artist's Way</i>. I hope their decision might in some way have been influenced by my blog, if indeed they've been reading my posts. I'm quite happy to endorse it as a means to get creative people working through their blocks. I must try hard not to jump in and ask too many questions though—I'm not part of any of their creative clusters after all—but I am really curious to know if it inspires them in the way it did me. Maybe they'll be happy to share in time. :-)<br />
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<a href="http://doingtheartistswayagain.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Debbie</a> and I have agreed to keep our little creative cluster going. We're checking in weekly and doing some of the tasks again over the winter months to keep us ticking over. Lord knows I need someone to kick me in the butt and make sure I don't start procrastinating again!<br />
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I've been good in other areas this week. I've kept up the habit of my artist's date, plus I had a mini-date mid-week. I'm going to have a second one tonight and may even squeeze in a third over the weekend. I'm finding it much easier to be kind myself on that front, and the things I'm doing rarely involve spending a lot of money. I'm being much more creative in finding things to do that excite and stimulate me. My downtime is mine, it's precious to me and I will make sure I keep enjoying it. I find myself being drawn to arts and crafts or photography these days; I'm continually updating my image file with clippings whenever I find something that catches my eye. I'm sure it would make no sense to any who should happen to discover it, but to me it's a mish-mashed collage of the eclectic things that reflect what I like and love about life.<br />
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I think that's all I've got on my mind right now. I'm aiming for a much more productive week this week, and I'm looking forward to catching up with Debbie to find out what she's been up to. Other than that, I have a hit list of things I've been putting for a while that I finally feel ready to tackle; for better or for worse, I intend to make a start on at least one big thing this week and see where it leads. I've learnt a lot about myself and the things I'm passionate about over the course of <i>The Artist's Way</i>, and I want to constantly be striving toward making those things the main focus of my everyday life. I'm pretty sure that, in a nutshell, is the key to happiness itself!<br />
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K<br />Krishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com0Royal Exchange Square, Glasgow, Scotland55.85994773925475 -4.253404140472412155.858833739254749 -4.255871640472412 55.861061739254751 -4.2509366404724123tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-19029738720727429562011-11-20T22:10:00.000+00:002011-11-20T22:21:23.454+00:00Week 12, Day 7 — And FinallyWell, here we are then. It's the last day of the twelve week programme.<br />
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If you're reading this and you've completed <i>The Artist's Way</i> before, you'll understand the emotions I'm feeling. Happy, proud, scared, curious—a whole mixed bag. More than anything else I feel satisfied and pleased with myself for making it right the way through. It took a lot of commitment, especially after my previous false starts, but once I began to experience the changes for myself this time I knew it was going to be worthwhile. I was <i>always</i> going to get there.<br />
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I had my wonderful Artist's Day today. A big long extended Artist's Date to myself to celebrate reaching the end. I spent several blissful hours doing some of my favourite things one after the after, many of them simple pleasures that might seem so little to others but make me feel really happy, and have consequently found myself in a very peaceful and relaxed mood tonight.<br />
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By the time I sat down to write this post I thought I'd feel a bit sadder—like something good was coming to an end. The truth of the matter is I recognise that this isn't really the end of the journey; it's only the beginning. The ground work has now been done, and it's up to me to live these positive changes I've made in my life and continue on my path of creative discovery. I will write my morning pages. I will go on my Artist's Dates. I will look out and be thankful for synchronicity, I will keep building my network of supporters and nurture my friendships and relationships, and most importantly, I will continue to believe in and be kind to myself.<br />
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<a href="http://doingtheartistswayagain.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Debbie</a> and I have agreed to keep our creative cluster going, so we'll be checking in once a week to see how life after <i>The Artist's Way</i> is faring—it sounds like we'll also continue with a weekly blog on an “After the Artist's Way” theme, with a view to us having a crack at <i>Walking in This World</i>, Julia Cameron's follow up programme, in 2012.<br />
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If you've stumbled upon my blog because you're researching the book or the course and want to find out more about it, then I heartily recommend that you give it a try. The fact you've decided to look it up means some part of it has already resonated with you, and your curiosity means you're ready for it right now. You owe it to yourself and whatever creative passion you have to unlock. My one suggestion is to form a supportive creative cluster; I found the journey so much easier having Debbie to share it with rather than dealing with lots of change on my own.<br />
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I could get sentimental and reflective at this point, but I don't see the need. It's after 10pm on a Sunday night, and I, my friends, am about to end the day by doing another of my favourite things: an early bed with a large mug of hot chocolate and a good book. ;-)<br />
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KKrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com0Paisley, Scotland55.845413 -4.423603855.809754 -4.5025678000000005 55.881072 -4.3446398tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-54563391504099425862011-11-19T23:33:00.001+00:002011-11-20T00:19:17.742+00:00Week 12, Day 6 — Family TimeI'm writing this post from the comfort of the sofa at mum and dad's house, where I'm sprawled out feeling pretty full and content. We've been out tonight for a family meal at Lochside House Hotel in Ayrshire, and what a feast we were treated to. The occasion was Aunty A heading back to Australia this week after several visits with us over the past few months; she's been using us a base for her worldly travels after finishing up her most recent job, and has been to Turkey, Spain, Marrakech, Brazil and made several trips to London in between.<br />
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I've talked about Aunty a few times in my blog; she got a mention right back on Day 1, in fact, and I wrote about the great weekend she spent with me in Glasgow last month. We really are kindred spirits, and I always go through a period of mourning when she leaves. I'm very grateful for the brilliant relationship we have and all the time we've managed to spend together this trip. I'm going to miss her as always.<br />
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I wrote for a few hours this morning before leaving for the train, and managed to finish the first draft of my new play. I already knew I wasn't happy with the direction I took it in and suspect the last two scenes will get the chop during editing, but it still felt satisfying to bring it to a conclusion and draw a line under it. In the past I've been guilty of excessive idealism, editing my writing as I go along to the extent that I sometimes lose sight of what I wanted to achieve and never finish at all. This time I felt happy to just go with the flow, experiment a bit even when I wasn't keen on it, then say nope—must try harder! I think I'll let it rest a week before attacking it with a red pen in preparation for a major rewrite.<br />
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I've got my big Artist's Day to look forward to tomorrow—I've been storing this one up for weeks to celebrate reaching the end of the journey. It's probably something a lot of people would scoff at as it's so trivial, but to me it's a decadent treat that takes me right back to my childhood. Let's just hope I don't feel as full and bloated as I do now by the time I get to Glasgow tomorrow, or I'll need someone to roll me around town!<br />
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KKrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com0Kelloholm, Dumfriesshire, Scotland55.381572962187711 -3.992242813110351655.379317962187713 -3.9971783131103518 55.383827962187709 -3.9873073131103514tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-63827349458358871162011-11-18T17:30:00.000+00:002011-11-18T19:57:43.956+00:00Week 12, Day 5 — The End is NighI met my friend Angela in town earlier for a three-tier high tea of sandwiches, cakes and scones (a big treat for us both courtesy of a deal voucher I procured months ago) then took a walk round Glasgow city centre, which is hanging under a low cloud of autumnal grey gloom today. I'm now sitting in a coffeeshop playing out my favourite cliché: strong black coffee, notebook and pen at hand (not forgetting my laptop, of course). I've been scribbling away for over an hour now, some of it just for fun, some of it developing into more serious sketches I might use later. I enjoy this time of year when it's nice to hide away somewhere snug and do something just for yourself. And I enjoy nothing more than having free time to experiment with my writing.<br />
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I've found myself in a funny sort of reflective mood. I think it's because I sense the end is nigh with <i>The Artist's Way</i> drawing to a close. It's been twelve significant weeks of ups and downs, highs and lows. Some weeks have been very powerful and uplifting; others have at first seemed difficult and obstructive, only to later feel like important lessons were learnt. I guess more than anything I've realised that I have a great network of friends and supporters around me, people who fill my life with kindness and consideration. There are people out there who want to see me do well. This might sound a bit melodramatic, but I genuinely feel less alone than I did three months ago. I felt like I was fighting a losing battle to get where I wanted to be, and was continually sidelining many of my ambitions as I was afraid of failing. For want of a better expression, I finally plucked up the courage to go "balls deep" and did something about it. I didn't write a bestselling novel in a weekend. I didn't write a groundbreaking play and get picked up by a national theatre company. I didn't win the lottery and gain the financial freedom I always longed for to set me free from responsibility and let me be a humble writer. No, I achieved something much bigger than all of those things:<br />
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I learnt how to believe in myself.<br />
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Yes, it's perhaps the biggest discovery I've made, one of the toughest lessons I've had to learn in all my years of struggling away. It turns out success isn't the product of things that happen to you, or things you make happen for yourself, or what you might earn along the way; it's a state of mind, a way of being that can be programmed into your every day routine. I still have problems and hurdles and barriers in my life—hell yes I do, perhaps bigger than I did even twelve weeks ago—but now I feel like they are simply inconveniences to be overcome as part of the background noise of life while I continue on this artistic journey I set out on.<br />
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Back at the beginning I mentioned that I'd started <i>The Artist's Way</i> before, but on previous attempts I bombed out. I would convince myself I was too busy, or I wouldn't commit to the tasks when other things got in the way, or I'd feel confronted when trying to express my hopes and dreams to the people I had in my life at that time. This time round I had a fab creative cluster partner in <a href="http://doingtheartistswayagain.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Debbie</a>, whose kind words and encouragement have kept me on the straight and narrow. More than anything else though, I was <i>ready</i> this time. Good things have been happening in my life. I've ticked off several major goals as this year has gone by. I don't <i>want</i> to be a writer or performer any more: I <i>am</i> a writer and performer, and I'm proud of what I've managed to achieve in a relatively short space of time. I might not be the next big thing, I may not have earned a fortune, I might never do anything more significant than what I'm already doing right now: what matters to me is the fact I'm doing it at all. I am truly grateful for all the opportunities I've had this year, and can honestly say I feel content.<br />
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I have faith that this isn't the end of the journey. It's just the beginning, the opening chapter. Every day that I wake up and commit to my morning pages I will be writing a fresh page in my development as an artist.<br />
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I'm ready and prepared to tackle whatever challenge comes next!<br />
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K<br />
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<br />Krishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com1Royal Exchange Square, Glasgow, Scotland55.860074184517437 -4.253114461898803755.859517184517436 -4.2543484618988039 55.860631184517437 -4.2518804618988035tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-25020447099535442032011-11-17T22:47:00.001+00:002011-11-18T00:14:34.256+00:00Week 12, Day 4 — HomeworkTonight I took a trip to the RCS (RSAMD) to visit their library; my mentor Isabel had recommended I read a play for research and I've been struggling to get hold of it online since. Luckily a quick search of their catalogue revealed they had a reference copy on the shelf, so I was able to go spend an hour reading it there and taking notes. I felt like I was doing proper homework. I'm researching, I'm learning, I'm developing; I'm a student again.<br />
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I met a couple of actor friends while there and adjourned to the pub for a catch up. We ended up in a passionate conversation about plays, projects, writing and life in general. It was great! I even slipped on my life coaching cap and found myself giving guidance and imparting words of wisdom. Yes, it's easy to forget that I can actually be a pretty useful guy to know if you're only used to reading about my more vulnerable explorations of self through this blog.<br />
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Did I mention I've actually been <i>writing</i> writing this week? I say that as a lot of the time I get trapped experimenting with notes and scribbles, but this week something's clicked and I have <i>actual</i> material rolling out. Loads of it, in fact—I've now got two respectable plays in progress, plus I've finished two decent short stories too. They all need editing, but the raw material's there. I haven't worked out where the motivation or flow is coming from, but whatever it is I've tapped, I'll have more of that please.<br />
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Today was a synchronous day; I kept meeting people I was happy to see. I like when that happens.<br />
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KKrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com0Paisley, Scotland55.845413 -4.423603855.809754 -4.5025678000000005 55.881072 -4.3446398tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-48477026207315336592011-11-16T22:06:00.001+00:002011-11-16T22:28:21.340+00:00Week 12, Day 3 — Do Not Disturb!I've been working with the affirmations from earlier in the course tonight. Week 12 encourages you to go back and laugh at some of your old fears before revisiting the affirmative mantras that helped you blast some of those fears away over the past few weeks. It's interesting to reflect on the changes I see over the past 3 months. There are areas where I've certainly grown in confidence and self-belief, but others where I'm perhaps just as awkward as I always was, if not more so in some cases. I guess that's all part and parcel of the journey, and I'm happy with that: one area of change at a time is a good enough pace for me. I know what I need to continue working on moving forwards.<br />
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After finishing the exercise I checked my emails and found positive messages from two people I count among my supporters—yet more affirmation if ever I needed it! Both of their names are neatly written on pieces of paper I've folded into cranes (yes, paper cranes!) and placed in jars where I'll be keeping them safe. I like this little task and will secretly be continuing it long after <i>The Artist's Way</i> has drawn to its conclusion… ;-)<br />
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I've also been enjoying lots of micro Artist's Dates this week. I've scheduled a little one into every single day this week, with some days even having two or more. I have a big one planned for Sunday to round off and celebrate reaching the end of the 12 weeks. I'm about to indulge in today's third mini-date… a long soak in the bath with a new album and a mug of hot chocolate, followed by an early bed with my new book.<br />
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<i>Please—Do Not Disturb!</i><br />
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KKrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com0Paisley, Scotland55.845413 -4.423603855.809754 -4.5025678000000005 55.881072 -4.3446398tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-74885721408933046972011-11-15T23:55:00.000+00:002011-11-16T00:14:39.618+00:00Week 12, Day 2 — Eh!?I've said this right through <i>The Aritst's Way</i>, so it's no surprise to find myself saying it again. I got stuck into this week's tasks tonight, and one of them asks you to repot any pinched and languishing plants (I won't explain the logic behind it though—you'll need to take the journey and find out for yoursel!). Just last week I asked the girl who comes in to the office at work to water the plants for advice about my Madagascan Dragon Tree, which sadly started to shed its leaves and look a bit sorry for itself at the end of summer. I've been really worried it might be dying. Her reply? Repot it and move it into better light. The further into <i>The Artist's Way</i> I've delved, the more I've found myself saying "eh!?" when something like this happens; it's as if the book was specially written for me to cater for whatever's going on in my life at any given time.<br />
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I'm going to miss it after this week.<br />
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Another task was to write any fears or resistance I might have moving forward after this week. I have plenty, but I also have optimism that the new routines and good habits I've developed will keep me on track.<br />
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I've done as many of the tasks as I want to for today. I'm holding two or three back for now.<br />
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KKrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com0Paisley, Scotland55.845413 -4.423603855.809754 -4.5025678000000005 55.881072 -4.3446398tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-70141251710156446172011-11-14T23:58:00.001+00:002011-11-15T00:16:20.951+00:00Week 12, Day 1 — The Heat Is OnWeek 12 — the final week. I'm excited, I'm sad, I'm curious, I'm relieved. I have more questions than answers and can't help but feel the heat is on to make a final push in this journey of creative recovery.<br />
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As I read this week's chapter I came across the line “<i>Hatching an idea is a lot like baking bread</i>”.<i> </i>I must confess it got me sidetracked from researching the play I'm working on and I ended up in the kitchen with my sleeves rolled up being a different manner of creative. I baked a batch of treacle biscuits and a batch of Scotch pancakes; they satisfied a wee sugar rush and gave me a feeling of achievement having made something from scratch. The warm air from the oven served a timely reminder that yes, the heat really is on. But that doesn't mean I can't take some time out to be kind to myself.<br />
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KKrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com0Paisley, Scotland55.845413 -4.423603855.809754 -4.5025678000000005 55.881072 -4.3446398tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5215271225770602290.post-55671228177992354282011-11-14T01:38:00.001+00:002011-11-14T02:17:51.634+00:00Week 11, Day 7 — Honest ChangesI finally got round to tackling this week's tasks. I haven't completed all of them yet, so I'll spill over to tomorrow and pick up the rest then. In the meantime, I have a few things to share.<br />
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<b><i>5 ways I have changed since beginning The Artist's Way:</i></b><br />
<ol>
<li>My daily routine has changed, and my lifestyle has changed; I write every single day between my morning pages and my blog, and find that I'm more inspired to write out with these tasks too.</li>
<li>My daily walks and fitness level have changed. What started as simply walking to and from work with walks at lunchtime to keep fit has now become a daily pilgrimage of exploration; I love spending time in the ever-transforming park as the seasons unfold, I love traversing the streets of the city and drinking in architecture and details I previously would have sped past on public transport, and I love that even in the big anonymous city some of the people I regularly encounter now say a cheery hello as we meet.</li>
<li>I'm not as afraid of being an artist. Most of my life has been spent worrying about how I would support myself, or how my work would be judged or received, or whether or not I was good enough to even bother. I now feel confident enough to just let it be, to simply commit to the act of creating. Anything else that follows will happen of its own accord.</li>
<li>I value talent. Not just the talents I've been guilty of squirrelling away and not using to their full potential, but those of the people around me. I recognise the work, effort and the journeys other artists have taken to get to where they are today.</li>
<li>My priorities have changed. There has been a definite shift in my motivation and attitude. On the whole I am much more positive about the direction my life is taking. I recognise that some people in my life are kicking against these changes and perhaps seek to derail me out of fear. This will pass. It is temporary, part of the rebirthing process. I must stay committed to my journey and focus on my goals; those who support me will always respond with kindness.</li>
</ol>
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<b><i>5 ways I will change as I continue:</i></b></div>
<div>
<ol>
<li>I will continue to grow in confidence.</li>
<li>I will continue to grow in fitness and physical awareness.</li>
<li>I will continue to build relationships and strengthen those friendships that support and nurture my career.</li>
<li>I will continue to work towards living as an independent artist.</li>
<li>I will continue to grow as an artist and seek out opportunities to develop as a writer and performer.</li>
</ol>
<div>
K</div>
</div>Krishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17729406758501862048noreply@blogger.com0Paisley, Scotland55.845413 -4.423603855.809754 -4.5025678000000005 55.881072 -4.3446398